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[January 29th, 2010 @ 9:53pm] |
Since livejournal is pretty much dead I made a new tumblr to take its place.
attitudesofcollapse.tumblr.com
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[December 1st, 2009 @ 5:10pm] |
My youth was found in disgusting apartments and pabst blue ribbon. Lying about my age and passing out on the bathroom floor. I was waiting all week for the weekend to ruin some dream, to do a drug I hadn't tried yet. I started smoking. I started lying. Things were going great. I felt better than ever, line after line, bed after bed, I never did too much and was on top of my game, always one step ahead of even myself. But soon there would be nothing new to do. Everyone would know my name, everyone would have touched my face
( The price of being young )
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[September 6th, 2009 @ 10:30pm] |
My shuffeling priorities and fleeting feelings have my head and my heart turning somersaults. I'm dizzy and disoriented. I'm ashamed and confused. My whole life I've lived like I've been driven, but the reality is that I don't have the slightest clue where I'm going. I have absolutely no idea what I want, but I know I need change. Changing is a lot harder than it sounds and I think I've wasted all my drive on my disallusioned past lives. This probably doesn't make any sense and that's a shame because maybe I could trade that sense in for some change. I hope I'm not the only person that got the pun. I just hope I'm not the only one.
( Maybe I am. )
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[June 17th, 2009 @ 1:16am] |
I wish you'd notice me the way you used to notice me, but neither of us are who we were back then. However, I still get excited when you look my way or mention my name. It's nice to be thought about every once in awhile.
Hesitation is so cumbersome. What ifs weigh me down and haunt me 24 hours a day; both in waking and dreams. I need to get out of my head and into my life.
Things have been very up and down lately. One day I'll be at the top of the world feeling fantastic and free. The next I'm being force fed bad news about the dead and the dying. A family friend killed himself last week. I feel like my life is a very badly written book; the author just kills everyone off the same way due to lack of imagination. It's so unreal to me. Luckily I have a few good friends that know when to talk and when to let me forget. Thank you.
I got kicked out of my online classes. I might be getting off probation early. I have some prospective roommates for next summer. Things are far from perfect, but they could be worse. I'm far from perfect. I could be a hell of a lot worse.
I think all philosophers did hallucinogens.
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[March 21st, 2009 @ 6:24pm] |
You spend your whole life growing and changing. Truth is I have a hard time keeping up with myself. I often lose track of who I am. So every couple of months I have to take a step back and let myself catch up;
( figure out who I've become )
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[November 16th, 2008 @ 11:12pm] |
Tell her not to go
I ain't holding on no more
Tell her nothing if not this
( all I want to do is kiss )
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[September 14th, 2008 @ 2:12am] |
you may call me lazy
you may call me smart
but I've never known just what to do
with this crooked thing
( my heart )
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[August 10th, 2008 @ 1:31pm] |
I'm really excited about the possibility of living with my mom next year. I was planning on living on my own, but I'd rather spend time with my mommy while I still have the chance. Not to mention Tampa will be much better than Orlando.
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[June 9th, 2008 @ 9:25pm] |
It may be the medication I'm on or the giant amount of nyquil that i just took, but I'm in a pretty bad mood. I hate being on the internet. I hate being at home. And even though I adore them, I hate being surrounded by boys all the time. I miss being friends with girls that I trust. I don't know what the fuck I did to everyone, but everyone stopped calling. Don't give me that "a phone works both ways" bull shit because if I am talking about you, I have called and you never fucking answer. I understand that some of you have jobs, but I also know that you still hang out on a regular basis.
I just want to have a girlfriend again (no homo). Someone that I can be open and honest with.
Another thing that is pissing me off is all the birthday parties begin thrown these days. I know that this is really selfish of me, but none of you ass holes even called me on my fucking birthday (not chris, he had my back<3). I feel like you all just want another excuse to get fucked up and since someone else threw a party on my birthday (one that I wasn't invited to), you had no reason to contact me.
Please think I am a bitch, because at least then I'll feel like you have a valid reason to treat me like shit.
How's that for fucking honesty?
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[May 6th, 2008 @ 7:04pm] |
When you look inside - all you'll see
Is a self-reflected inner sadness -
Look outside - I know that you'll
( Recognize it's summertime )
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[April 23rd, 2008 @ 8:56pm] |
I just finished my last big assignment for the year.
I have less than two weeks left of classes
Graduation at the end of next month
Since everyone's been all nostalgic lately, why the hell not?
( Highschool )
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[March 30th, 2008 @ 4:03pm] |
 
All I want is a best friend.
But they are just so hard to find.
Seems like everyone is already taken.
P.S. I don't like who some of you have become.
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[January 23rd, 2008 @ 1:21pm] |
Somewhere out there in between
The moon and the sea
I'll be waiting for you my dear
( So wait for me )
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